Victim – Blaming: A Sickness in South East Asia

Rape. Sexual assault. Corruption. The Justice system in South East Asia have failed countless victims. The system continues to protect and enable the perpetrators. The victims, however, are guilted and bullied by society and even their family for “asking for it”. Placing the blame on the victim means letting the wrongdoer free and does not hold them accountable for the life they ruined. Although, most people want the victims to get justice, the system does not allow for that, especially when the perpetrator is in a power of authority or related to someone in authority.

In such cases, the most asked question is “what was she wearing?”. Implying that a woman’s clothing can distract a man. Disgusting. The fact that a woman’s clothing is emphasised rather than the crime that took place is abhorrent. It really showcases people’s mindsets. This line of questioning is incredibly accusatory and invasive. It frames the victims as the provoker of the assault. Therefore, the consequences match the crime. Not to mention, the way victims are forced to remain silent. In order to maintain the “honour” or reputation. According to the National Sexual Violence Resource Center, around 75-83% of sexual assaults are never reported to the police.

Society often upholds traditional gender roles where men hold dominant positions and woman are expected to be submissive. In rape and sexual assault cases, men are the ones who hold the power over woman. Society perceives them as weak, frail and helpless, and this is what men take advantage of. In South East Asia, approximately 33% of married woman aged 15-49 do experience physical or sexual violence from their husband, or some other male partner. They do not get the support they need. Instead, they are shunned from family, and society for wanting to take action against the perpetrator. Society would prefer to protect the perpetrator, instead of helping the victims. Helping the victims would require tremendous amount of love, care, support and patience. Which society lacks in, unsurprisingly.

Throughout the investigation of these cases, the victims are rather ignored, shamed and judged. Some people choose to believe as though it had not occurred at all. Dismissing the victim’s experience entirely. Absolutely despicable. In order for the victims to get justice, society would have to actually acknowledge what happened. However, that will not happen. The culprit could pay off the authorities to make the case go away. Kill any witnesses so the news of their crime would not spread. Kill the victim so as to not ruin the so-called “reputation” that they uphold.

The offender would be having connections in fields that would allow them to get away. Using said connections would benefit them greatly. It means that they will not be facing consequences that they deserve. They will get away scot-free. Meanwhile, the victims suffer a long lasting trauma, suffering from nightmares, breach of trust etc. They will not be able to have a proper relationship going forward, because of the traumatic event. It will take years and years of therapy and medication for the victim to truly heal.

Now that we’ve covered different aspects of the victim-blaming mindset, it’s time to dive deeper into a recent case to further understand it better.

A 43 year old man received a sentence of 21-24 years of jail, along with 24 strokes of the cane. In June of 2023, he had sexually assaulted his stepdaughter. At the time, the victim was 16 when she had received obscene messages from her stepfather. She had accompanied him during his delivery rounds in his van. At a car park in Tampines, the girl was sorting out parcels when her stepfather had sexually assaulted her. Following that, the man would regularly demand sex from the victim through text messages which he would then delete using his cloud access to her phone. In total, between June 2023 and February 2024, the man had sexually assaulted his stepdaughter at least 12 times.

It was noted that the man exploited his position of authority to continuously assault her. Unable to endure the assault any longer, the girl confided in a school teacher, who then reported it to the school counsellor. The counsellor reported the incident, and a police report was made. The police had seized phones from the stepfather. It contained recordings and screenshots from closed-circuit  television cameras he got installed in the flat. It displayed him sexually assaulting the victim. Despite the strict conviction, the man expressed no signs of remorse, communicating his desires to reunite with his children. 

In rape and sexual assault cases, victims go through a tremendous amount of pain. Adding on to that pain, they are looked down upon. People judging and criticising without knowing or understanding the extent of their trauma. The psychological toll one faces is immense and the resources to help them heal remain limited. In an ideal world, victims would be receiving compassion, encouragement and kindness from people that love and support them. Yet, reality could not be farther from the truth. Often, victims are left to fend for themselves. Having to relive their trauma constantly.

Having to defend oneself would lead to dignity, and reputation getting dragged through the mud. In a world where one gets judgement and cruelty rather than kindness and love, proving you deserve love and support gets exhausting. Although, it should not be. According to the Rape, Abuse & Incest National Network (RAINN), approximately 33% of woman who experience rape contemplate suicide. Around 13% of female rape survivors attempt suicide. At some point, we, as fellow members of society, have to ask what went wrong. Why are survivors contemplating or attempting suicide? We have to acknowledge that we, as fellow members of society, add on to the victims’ pain and make their life much harder than it already is. 

Sources:

https://www.cdc.gov/sexual-violence/about/index.html

https://rapecrisis.org.uk/get-involved/living-in-limbo-retraumatising-survivors

https://rapecrisis.org.uk/get-informed/statistics-sexual-violence

https://asiapacific.unwomen.org/en/focus-areas/end-violence-against-women/evaw-facts-and-figures

https://www.bbc.com/news/articles/cn74vzl52l4o

https://www.channelnewsasia.com/singapore/stepfather-rape-sexual-abuse-teenager-stepdaughter-welfare-home-6353896

https://asiapacific.unwomen.org/sites/default/files/Field%20Office%20ESEAsia/Docs/Publications/2019/08/ap-Trial-of-Rape_26Aug2019_lowres-compressed.pdf

https://committees.parliament.uk/writtenevidence/36494/html


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